Gone
by popprincess.57
Summary: Sakura's life in happiness and in sorrow.


_Gone._

Since as long as Sakura Hurano could remember, there was always a person in her life that she could depend on. Someone to take care of her, protect her, or even listen to her as she went on one of her many feisty rampages. And eventually that dependable human being who she so survived off of would disappear, and Sakura would become lost. It was like a cycle' occurring over and over again, always continuous.

Whenever someone she cared about left she was, of course, all alone. How could she not be? Her parents, deceased from a mass-murder in one of the many ninja wars, were gone. They, who were always there for her, to comfort her when her mission failed, to listen to her when she had great news to share, were buried at some plot in a squalid old cemetery, rotting in the dirt. Gone were the hot summer days she spent in their arms, laughing together over a joke as ice cream ran down their chins, soaking them in a stickiness that would never bother them. Gone were the nights where they tucked her into bed, each laying a single kiss on her cheek in beloved sincerity.

With their absense, Sakura fell into a deep melancholy, eyes always shadowed, lips always pulled into a frown, head always bowed with grief. She worked and trained harder, trying to overcome her sorrow. She was mechanical, almost on auto pilot as she followed orders without argue. She was always there, but strangely always absent. She continued to stay this way, until one day when she met a boy. Of course, she already knew him, because he too was a ninja. But this blonde knuckle head hadn't crossed paths with her since the death of her parents. He was determined to cheer her up and banish away her gloom.

"Hey Sakura!" He ran up to her, slung his arm around her shoulders, and steered her in the direction of Ichi-Raku ramen. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really," she mumbled, keeping her eyes on her toes. "In fact," she said, ducking out of his orange clad arm and walking in the opposite direction, "I was just getting ready to train."

"Oh cool," he practically shouted, not in the least discouraged. "Let's work on a new jutsu together!"

She spun on her heel, anger in her otherwise distant eyes, and came face to face with him. "Naruto," she scowled. "It's _private _training. Go away."

She turned away, quick as lightning, and stalked off, vanishing into a swirl of pink cherry blossoms, and thus not giving the blonde optimist a chance to catch up with her. But it didn't matter to him if he couldn't train with her that day. He would always show up, anywhere she went, at any time. He would always be there because he was worried, obviously, for his dear friend, whom his heart flamed for. Never in all their years together as friends and team mates had he seen her this depressed. The bounce had left her step, the light gone from her eyes, and the ever-present pure joy of her voice was replaced with a deep sense of sorrow. She was a shell of her formal self. And thus, he was determined to revive those characteristics that he so loved in her. He made it a promise, and he never went back on his word. He would try for many months to gain back what was lost in her. And on a late summer night he found her training in the forest, body twisting into a series of complicated movement barely comprehendable to the human eye as she wielded a giant sword.

"Sakura," he said quietly from the shadows of the trees. "It's late, you've been training for hours...come with me. I'll take you home."

Startled, for she was so absorbed in her training that she did not know he was there, she turned to him. Her breathing was labored as she spoke. "I'm not done yet. Leave me alone Naruto."

He sighed, frustrated as he ran his hand through his shaggy hair. "Stop refusing! What happened to that smart, lively medic that everyone admired so much? What happened to the girl that I fell in love with? Tell me, Sakura! What happened to her?"

Sakura's hand went limp, letting the hilt of her sword fall from her grasp as she stared at him in open shock. Lately, in all their meetings Naruto had been calm, cool, and collected. Never once had he lost control and let his emotions run over him whenever she refused him. And now this. This enraged part of Naruto that she hadn't seen in a long, long time. Seeing him pull at his hair and puff in frustration, and tell her that he was in love with her did something to her, made something in her snap. And that specific snap led to a deep ache within her chest. It was a small pain at first, but as time moved on it grew bigger and more powerful, until it shook her whole being, made her tremble and gasp in fear.

Naruto glanced up when he heard her intake of breath, saw the brief flash of emotion in her eyes, and took a small step toward her. "Sak - "

Too late. The emotion, the raw pain, was gone. It was gone and replaced by an iron-hard cold. She didn't want to feel this. All she wanted was to forget, to train, to feel _nothing. _And Naruto made her feel far from that. She despised him.

"Leave me alone," she hissed. But he didn't. He kept walking closer, hands out in a sign of peace, cautiously approaching her as he would a cornered animal. With each step he took forward, she took one back, until her back came into contact with a tree, allowing Naruto to get within touching distance of her.

"I said leave me alone, Naruto," she whispered harshly. "What part of that don't you understand?"

He gritted his teethe. "I'm not leaving," he growled. "Never forget that."

Seconds passed with the noise of their harsh breathing the only thing heard in the otherwise quiet forest. "Say something!" He shouted, disrupting the tense quiet and making her jump. "Look at me!"

But she couldn't do either. If she even tried, the ache would return, and then everything would fall apart. "No," she whispered in a tiny voice.

He reached up and clutched onto her chin, roughly jerking it up so that their eyes were locked onto each other. "Listen to me," he pleaded in a desperate and tremulous voice. "For weeks I have tried and tried..._and tried _to get you back to what you used to be. I can't do this alone, Sakura. You need to let your parents go. They're gone, and I know that your sad, but you need to move on."

With every word the ache got bigger, until it consumed her. Tears streamed down her face and sobs forced their way up and out of her throat. He held her as she wept, wept for her parents and everything that was lost.

After that night in the woods, things between the two began to revert back to normal, if you could even describe their relationship as normal. It started out slow, as the growth of a plant is to the human eye. Still she refused to eat with him, but she didn't yell at him to leave. Instead, they would walk together through the markets, barely uttering a single word at first. Soon the quiet manifested into whirl-winded conversations full of smiles and laughter. Naruto was pleased, for the gleam of joy in her eyes had finally returned, trumping the darkness. He had kept his promise, and she began to let go.

A snowy winter morning was the first time that Sakura suggested they eat lunch together. Her breath puffed out in a white cloud of excitement. "Come on," she said as she clasped his hand and pulled him through the crowd of civilians and ninjas. "I know the perfect place! And no, it's not ramen. I'm in the mood for sushi. What about you?"

When he didn't answer, she looked back at him in question. "Naruto?"

He avoided her gaze, and her expression changed to one of worry. "What is it?"

He finally looked at her, and the distress in his face made her gasp in fear. "What's wrong? Tell me!"

"I'm sorry," he murmured, looking down. "... I have to leave."

She dropped his hand. "What do you mean you have to leave?" She whispered.

He sighed. "They're sending me on a classified mission....for two years."

She flinched and turned away, tears springing forth in her eyes. He grabbed her hand tightly as she turned to run. "Please don't, Sakura."

Not looking back at him, she asked, "when do you leave?"

A pause, and then, "tonight."

She let out a half sob, smiling bitterly. Her voice rose a few octaves as she said, "tonight...Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I'm sorry," he said. "I only found out this morning."

She began to cry, and he held her there in the street, stroking her hair and murmuring words that were meant to soothe her, but only made her cry harder because she knew that this was the last time she would hear his voice for a long time. When she wouldn't, couldn't, stop crying he made a few hand seals and teleported them to his small apartment. He kept talking to her as he kissed her tears away, cupping her face in his palms. As the flow of her tears began to slow, he pressed his lips gently to hers.

"I love you," he whispered hoarsely as his hands glided across the curves of her body. He bent his head and kissed his way down to the bend between her shoulder and neck. He closed his eyes and breathed in her scent, letting it wash over him. _Strawberries, _he thought. _How will I ever leave her behind?_

He picked her up and slowly walked them to the bed, where he let them fall back into the plush cushions, his elbows supporting his weight as he bent over her. He undressed her and kissed his way to lower regions, loving how she moaned the whole time.

Making love for the first time, they were able to forget for a few precious hours what lay ahead. But it had to come at some point. And it did. There were many tears, coming from Sakura and Naruto both as they said their good-byes. It was getting late, and he had to go. As he turned to leave, his hand slipping out of hers, he said one last thing. "I'll come back for you, Sakura. That's a promise. So wait for me."

She nodded her head in understanding and stood at the gate as he walked away. She left long after the point when she couldn't see him anymore.

--

For the next few weeks, Sakura was in a state of shock. It was different from when her parents died, because she knew that he would come back, unlike them. Nevertheless, she still missed his warm embrace and their strolls they took through the streets. But this sorrow that filled her also had a sence of hope. She clung to it, hoping for his return. And as she hopes, the shock and sorrow left her, and joy filled her. She began to rebuild the relationships she lost whenever her parents died.

"Ino pig!" Sakura waved enthuiastically to the long-haired, curvy blonde that was walking through the village gates. "How was your mission?"

Ino ran up and hugged her. "Boring," she laughed. " A simple mission of gaurding a bunch of old men too fat to take care of themselves."

They laughed and linked arms, walking to the Hokage tower. Whenever they entered thorugh the double doors, they were assaulted by the Hokage herself.

"Ino!" She exclaimed. "Sop socializing and get started on your report. I want it on my desk in no less than ten minutes!" Ino scrambled to obey her order, fervently searching for a blank scroll to work on. Whenever she found a desk, the Hokage turned to her with a critizing eye, her hands cocked on her hips. "And make it good."

Sakura laughed at the look of pure terror on Ino's face. Sweat beaded at her temple as she bent her head and urgently started to write. Sakura knew that Tsunade wasn't serious, but she wasn't going to tell Ino that anytime soon! Tsunade just loved to harass people.

When she heard Sakura giggling, Tsunade turned to her. "You. Stop that."

"Yes Lady Hokage," she said mockingly, in between giggles.

"Sakura," she sighed, amused. "If you don't stop laughing at me I won't share with you the letter I just recieved from the messenger hawk a few minutes ago. It's got your name on it."

That got her to somber up. In fact, she perked up like a dog recieveing a juicy bone. "Let me see it!"

They walked to Tsunade's office, and as soon as the door swund closed Sakura pounced on the letter.

_My dearest Sakura, _

_It's ard to belive that I'm been gone for over a year now. My mission is hard, but it's getting done. Hopefully, I'll be able to come home early. And then we would be together at last..._

_I miss you so much, my heart aches to be with you. I find myself thinking about you all the time, no matter who I'm with or where I'm at. It gets distracting, and I have to force myself not to think about you.I bet you've grown even more beautiful, I can't wait to see you. When I do I'm going to wrap you in my arms and never let go. _

_I love you with all my heart,_

_Naruto_

"Do you really think that he'll be able to come home early!?"

She grinned. "Yep. When he makes up his mind about something, there's no stopping him."

--

He came a few weeks after his letter arrived. And a few weeks after that they moved in together. And after that? They got married. Till death do they part. Every second they spend together they loved each other even more. He would wake up in the morning and gaze at her for hours, eventually kissing her forehead and making her shared everything, talked about anything, and made love countless times. To them, life was perfect.

"That was such a great movie," Sakura gushed, snuggling closer into Naruto's arm as they walked home. "I'm glad it had a happy ending."

"And yet you still cried," he laughed.

She said, "is it so wro - "

The earth quaked as a sudden explosion brighented up the sky, making them stumble into each other. He steadied her. "What was that?"

"I don't know," she said. "But we're going to find out." He took her hand and urgently ran in the direction of the explosion. Hundreds of civilians running the opposite direction made it difficult to find their way, making them jump to the roof tops. Bursts of chakra in their feet sped them to their destination in a matter of seconds. When they got to the gates, ninja were already surrounding them in a defensive position, waiting. Waiting, for what?

They spotted some of their old team mates and ran over to them. "What's going on," she asked Shikamaru.

He glanced at them before returning his worried gaze to the gates and the shadows beyond that held who knows how many enemies. "It's bad," he eventually said. "Stone ninja. They think that we raided one of their villages and stole forbidden jutsu scrolls. They've been attacking the gates with all kinds of jutsu, but we managed to get them to back off for a while."

Kakashi appeared out of nowhere, looking confident and holding his book in one hand. "Everyone listen up, Hokage orders." Everyone stopped what they were doing and payed close attention to what he had to say. "Form squads of five, and have at least one medic in each squad. Two squads will remain here and protect the village while the rest will venture out and eliminate the enemies. Don't let any live."

He turned to Naruto. "You'll be with Shikamaru Ino, Neji, Rinji, and Haru. Sakura. You'll be with Choji, Hinata, Myself, and Sai. The rest of you form teams. And get moving. We want to strike beofre the enemy does, so hurry."

What?" Naruto shouted. "You're going to seperate Sakura and I?" He trembled with rage.

Kakashi sighed. "We don't have time for this, Naruto. You and Sakura can't be on the same team for obvious reasons. This is a war, and we can't have your feelings for each other cloud your judgement. Now get going, Hokage's orders."

They gazed into each others eyes, not wanting to leave the other behind. They didn't speak, they didn't need to to get the message across; Stay safe, come back. But what either of them didn't know was that Naruto wasn't going to stay safe and he wasn't going to come back. He was going to die protecting his teammates, keeping _them_ safe and allowing _them_the oppurtunity to come back. And what neither of them knew was that a few weeks after Naruto's death, Sakura would start to show symptoms of being pregnant.

At this point in Sakura's life, all her past griefs washed over her. The war that lasted over a month was finally settled by a peace treaty. It still lasted long enough to kill countless friends, and the love of her life. They were gone, all of them lost to played an important role in the war. She let her grief and rage take over, and she became a killing machine. She murdered many people, eventually getting Stone to stop in their raids and invasions. After the war ended, she couldn't stand the sight of Kohona, and so she left. She turned in her head band, and packed her things. In a matter of days she was gone from the village.

She was sitting on a rickety old bed in a run-down hotel when she finally let herself think about the life that she was carrying inside her. When the war was going on she denied the fact. But now she had to force herself to accept it. Tears streamed down her face. How was she going to raise this child without Naruto? And when the child was old enough how was she going to explain what happened to his father?

After hours of sobbing, she came to a conclusion. She sat up. All her life she depended on someone else, always. Sure she was considered one of the most skilled medics in all five nations, almost surpassing the Lady hokage herself with her medic nin-jutsu and her ability to crumble a mountain to dust with just a single poke from her pinky finger. But even with those amazing skills she still depended on people. First her parents, then her friends, and then Naruto. And every single one of them died in battle. So now, she wouldn't let anyone take care of her. Instead, _she_would be the one taking care of another's life. She would let someone else be dependent on her, and she wouldn't fail. She would love her child with all her heart, just as she loved the child's father, and just how she knew that Naruto would love the child. She would protect him with her very life. And she would never,_ever,_ let him live the life of a ninja, for that would only bring him pain and sorrow.

--

"Mommy! Mommy look!" A four year old blonde boy came running out of the bushes, holding out his hand. He ran right up to Sakura, who sat waiting for him. He curled excitedly around her. "Look what I found!"

She smiled at him, thinking how much he resembled his father. Bending down, she scooped him into her arms. "What is it?" She asked gently in wonder.

He opened up his hand to reveal a beautiful monarch butterfly. "Isn't it pretty?" He said, enthralled by the way the creature languidly flapped its wings. Sakura wasn't looking at the butterfly, however. She was gazing at the child. Love flooded out of her as she bent and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Never once did she take her eyes off him. "Yeah, baby," she said. "Beautiful."

--

_Whatever is a blessing could turn out to be a curse, and whatever is considered a curse could really be a blessing. _

_Ben Izzy - The Beggar King and the Secret of Happiness._

_--_


End file.
